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....my previous rants....

...What is Normal?...
Saturday, Sept. 24, 2016

...toddlers = baby vampires = truth....
Thursday, Sept. 01, 2016

..."We're forced to bed, but we're free to dream..."...
Sunday, Aug. 21, 2016

...it's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood...
Tuesday, Aug. 02, 2016

...feelin' fine...
Tuesday, Aug. 02, 2016

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Thursday, Sept. 01, 2016 - 10:28 p.m.

I am mentally exhausted.

More on that in a sec.

Physically, I'm not doing too bad. I've been keeping up with the daily walks with the Hubs. It was his day off yesterday, so we packed a water bottle and took a slightly longer walk to one of the old playgrounds I used to frequent as a child.

"Spaceship Park" to be precise.

Now, I'm pretty nostalgic about this particular park, mainly because there is a piece of playground equipment that has been there for 30+ years. This piece of playground equipment survived the overhaul of the rest of the park: they removed all the merry-go-rounds, see-saws and teeter-totters, all the recycled-tire equipment that was indescribably fun, and replaced it with newer, shittier (in my opinion), boring, modern equipment that is designed for very small children at best.

When Hubs and I decided to go there yesterday (aka, I told him that's where we were walking) I wasn't sure what to expect. I had got my hopes up it would be there, and I wanted him to experience it before it (eventually) gets tossed to the wayside, replaced by more modern equipment.

As we rounded the corner, I kinda felt like Atreyu in The Neverending Story...

"If the equipment still stands, take us there!"


Galaxy Class Playground Equipment


Oh yeah. Mother. Fucking. Starship. Enterprise.

Boo-to-the-fuckin'-YAH!

There were no kids around, so we took a few photos and sat on the swings for a bit before departing. I swear if I ever become rich and/or fa-mousse, I'm going to buy that piece of equipment and put it in my backyard.

Yesterday was a good day.

Today, not so much.

I could write a huge entry on today alone, but I haven't the energy (or time) and I assure you that there will be more misadventures to come.

Let's just summarize by saying I tried to break up a dispute between toddlers (ie, I picked one up before he attempted to bite the other) and I was promptly branded by Jane's two-year-old:


Branded... :(


All hell broke loose after that. I stayed with her until 8pm trying to assist her in taking care of the baby and her toddler, and I was brutally honest when she asked me to be. When we got on the topic of vasectomy (her husband is going through consultation) and I told her about T's experience, she again reminded me that it "Only takes one to make it past the goalie..."

To which I replied, "Nope. Not happening."

"You could just give it up for adoption, though, right?"

I laughed and said, "Oh heeeeeell no, I am NOT putting my body through that. Especially for nothing."

"So, would you abort it?" she asked sincerely.

I didn't flinch. "I sure would. Not happening."

She nodded and made a mock-pout face but conceded. After today's bullshit roller-coaster (I left out a lot of crying/screaming/carrying on) I am more childfree than ever.

I am Jane's friend, however. I am trying to help her out in her time of need, but her kids are almost too much to bear. I almost almost slapped her kid's hand after he bit me, but by then both kids (and two babies) were screaming bloody fucking murder, so I had that scrambling my thoughts even harder. I asked what I should have done after the fact, and Jane said to tell him NO BITING.

I thought a slap on the hand would have gotten the message across a littler better, but he's not my child and I'm reluctant to overstep my boundaries, especially when Jane has been a good friend to me.

It's been hard lately, what with her crazy kids being, well, kids and with her brother getting engaged, he being my ex and all. I had a dream about meeting his fiance last night, and she kept breaking into angelic song whenever I spoke to her. She had a beautiful voice, and I found myself actually thinking, "Fuck, she's perfect..." before waking.

Welp, almost time to pick up the Hubs. I promised Jane I'd go for a walk with her and the kids tomorrow.... should be interesting.

Hopefully I can avoid the toddler teeth this time 'round.

~Auntie Az

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